I’m pretty sure my middle finger has frostbite… and it’s a good look for me…

This was an epic workout weekend for me.

Let me put this in perspective for you IronMan and marathon survivors out there who occasionally read this drivel: Never particularly fit to begin with, I have degenerated into a big pile of unmuscled fat. The slide started in May and has accelerated frighteningly over the last three months.

I have a number of excuses. None of which work for me as my clothes are fitting like sausage casings. I recoil in horror whenever I a catch a glimpse of my dimpled cellulite-covered ass in the mirror. Something I try to avoid at all costs but occasionally can’t avoid. Mainly because it is so… well… large. Not the mirror – the ass.

So anyway the point is that when I call a workout weekend “epic,” the bar is low.

It started on Saturday with the annual Turkey Trot at my kids’ school. We’ve never been able to go before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was bitterly cold but still very cute. Their P.E. teacher is amazing. We did a fun warm-up that included the chicken dance. Yes of course I did it! Then we started running half mile laps around the school. Rainbow was supposed to run two laps and Taz was supposed to run three to four based on grade level. After the warm up, Taz and several friends took off at a sprint. Rainbow wanted to run with me, so we wisely paced ourselves and soon passed the boys walking. Moments later, they sprinted past us and we didn’t see them again. She wanted to walk a little but really not much for the four laps that we did together. She’s a little overachiever! I taught her to take advantage of downhills and flats and not waste a walk on them. So that’s my maternal wisdom to pass down through the generations.

After Rainbow and I ran and stretched, we still couldn’t find Taz so Rainbow ran another lap at a sprint to look for him. He meandered up while she was gone, claiming that he’d run five laps. I suspect he and his friends found a spot to hide while the running was going on but I’m not sure. Taz could definitely run; at least one of his friends is not nearly as energetic. Their P.E. teacher told me that they are both “energizer bunnies” – a very apt description.

By then it was a comparatively balmy 37 degrees. (That’s Fahrenheit, Jodi – maybe 3 Celsius? Freaking cold.) I added another layer to go meet TG40 and REB for a bike ride. And a chilly ride it was! Even with my full fingered gloves and foot warmers, I was freezing. At one point I almost wrecked my bike as I was clasping my hands together trying to thaw my fingers. TG40 rode with fingerless gloves and no foot warmers. As REB pointed out, she’s much tougher than us. We rode 23 miles with a frigid head wind the entire way. Seriously. It must have shifted every time we turned. But as always it was great to see those guys and get a ride in.

As we were riding, I was enumerating the ways that cycling is better than triathlon in my head. My top 10 reasons were all various forms of “in cycling, there’s no swimming” and “drafting is legal in cycling.” I do love myself a good draft. And I rewarded myself with three Reese’s cups at the end. So there’s that.

Sunday, while Scouter and the kids went to church, I opted to be a heathen and go for a run instead. To say that I haven’t been running much would be a massive understatement. I basically goaded myself into running five miles. My first ploy was to pick a route that didn’t offer shorter options without flat out admitting defeat, turning around and going home. My second mind game was to remind myself of my friend Patty charging through a marathon after swimming 2.4 miles and riding 112, or my friend Susan hitting the wall at mile 21 of the marathon and still finishing in 3:42. She was pacing 8 minute miles until mile 21 – amazing. I couldn’t feel worse than they did, or so I told myself to keep my legs moving. I made it through and was very proud of my accomplishment.

Monday morning, just for the hell of it, I actually got my fat ass out of bed on time and did some weights. Only 30 minutes but I’ll take it.

I haven’t done a damn thing since but I’ve been a little sore and it feels really good.

Almost as good as those Reese’s cups taste.
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