Coming Soon to a Stadium Near You...

"Santa" cheated this year.

Don't just take my word for it - consider the evidence for yourself.

The kids got Guitar Hero World Tour (the one with the guitar, drum kit and microphone) and a charger station for Christmas. They never asked for either. And who has been playing it incessantly since we hooked it up last night? Who kept the kids up until after 11 last night to play "just one more song?"

You guessed it... that jolly old elf himself.

Tonight while I was making dinner, I heard my sweet baby girl screaming "NO... SLEEP... TIL BROOKLYN!!!" into the mic. Taz had lead guitar and Scouter was on drums as the Beastie Boys rocked the house.

So of course I had to join. Rainbow hit the "No sleep til Brooklyn" parts and I rapped out the rest.

So much fun...

In retrospect, I think Scouter should do the shopping every year!
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Mommy of the Year - Christmas Style

Taz awoke at 3:00 this morning. And he never went back to sleep.

Merry fucking Christmas.

(I've been dying to say that.)

Just to torture him back, we told him he had to wait until 7 a.m., as we had informed him repeatedly the day before.

He upped the ante by waking Rainbow at 6:15.

We held firm. Just to be punitive.

Finally at 7 a.m., they bounded down the stairs to find their Santa bounty.

That guy must not have been paying attention this year. They have really not been all that good.

And I could really use a nap.
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Kid Humor

The other day, Rainbow accompanied me to the grocery store. After the little young bagboy tucked our groceries in the trunk of the car and we were preparing to leave, she turned to me and said, “He was cute.” She paused for a beat and then speculated, “I wonder if he’s available?”

Let me just remind you that she’s only seven.

I smothered a laugh and replied, “Honey! I’m going to have to stop letting you watch iCarly and Zoey 101 if that’s what you’re learning.”

She thought for a minute and then asked for clarification. “So… you’re saying that whatever I’m learning this from has to go away?”

“Yes,” I replied emphatically, still chuckling to myself.

“Well, Mommy, it wasn’t Zoey or iCarly,” she stated confidently. “It was Taz!!!!”

Her brother.

At seven, she’s already way smarter than I’ll ever be.
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Riding with the Big Kids

Last Sunday, I had a rare opportunity to bike. I queried my posse and was pleased to learn that TG40 and Richard could ride too.

I also invited a new friend from work, Susan. This girl is a serious runner – I’m talking an 8 minute mile marathon pace – who cycles for cross training.

In the meantime, TG40 invited Bethany who brought her husband and another couple. Now TG40 is a serious triathlete who could kick my trash up and down any activity I could imagine. Fortunately she’s also very kind and tolerant of not only my antics but my gradual and continuing loss of fitness. I had never ridden with the others and didn’t know what their patience level would be.

I was a little nervous.

I had planned to ride 18 to 20 miles on Sunday. After all, I hadn’t been on my bike for three weeks nor had I done anything else in the interim. And I haven’t ridden more than about 22 miles in probably a year. But Bethany had other ideas and announced a 28 miles loop.

Now I was really nervous. Could I keep up? I suspected that I couldn’t. Plus I know how mileage counts work – 28 probably meant 30 or 32.

After running through my litany of excuses as to why I would be bringing up the rear, I saddled up and away we went.

For the first few miles, Susan rode beside me and we chatted. That translates to she chatted, I grunted out a few questions while trying to hide how hard I was huffing and puffing. About eight miles in, I turned to Richard and asked whether he was really up for 28 miles. “I’ll do what you do,” he replied.

Not the answer I was hoping for.

Without the contrived excuse of having to turn back because Richard didn’t want to do 28, I had to keep going. Soon after, I wasn’t exactly sure where I was and then really had to stick with the group.

TG40 and two of the guys were pretty far out in front, but they would stop periodically to wait for us. At one point, TG40 warned me of the hills towards the end of the route.

Great.

Shortly thereafter, we hit the hills. I ended up in a no-mans-land all alone. I had tried drafting Susan earlier and frankly she’s so darn tiny that it didn’t offer much. I needed Richard’s tire in front of me. But somehow I muddled through.

We stopped and regrouped for the last push. I was happy to be with part of the group again. I knew the rest of the route and it didn’t seem that we would even hit 28 miles. But we did.

I wasn’t fast and I certainly didn’t look good, but I definitely enjoyed the ride. It was nice to push a little beyond my current comfort zone in terms of distance.

I really need to figure out how to get out there more often.
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Mommy of the Year

Picture this quaint scene: The beautiful live Christmas tree is ensconced in the family room, lights twinkling, while a merry family sips hot chocolate, hums along to classical holiday music playing in the background, and carefully extracts each cherished ornament from its wrapping to hang gently on the tree as they smile fondly at each other.

Then picture my family.

SNAP! "Oops," says Rainbow as the arm cracks off of a nutcracker ornament dated 1992.

CRASH! "Uh oh," says Taz as he spazzes into an entire box of crystal Waterford ornaments carefully collected over the last 15 years.

"DAMMIT!" chimes in Scouter as the tree tips precariously for the fourth time.

Yeh. It was a stressful evening.

And the fucking tree still isn't done.
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Swoosh!

We spent the weekend snow skiing!

We first took Taz and Rainbow skiing two years ago, when they were five and six, and they hadn’t been since. Somehow, in their little minds, they are experts so they were PISSED when I suggested lessons. Being the evil Mom that I am, I booked them anyway.

And it worked out great! I was cheap and booked group lessons, but skiing is so light this early in the season that it ended up being my two kids with two instructors. They got a great lesson and came out with some good basic skills.

Now they KNOW they’re experts!

Their lesson time gave Scouter and I a chance to remember how to ski since we haven’t been in two years either. We both learned in high school/college, have not skied much, and neither of us is particularly strong. Fortunately we got a lot of runs in and felt comfortable by the end of their lesson.

Not surprisingly, when they rejoined us, Taz went dive-bombing down the mountain and had some spectacular wipe-outs. Rainbow was pretty cautious and snow plowed her way down, along with some big sweeping turns. After one particularly bad fall, Taz was pretty shaken. I calmed him down and convinced him to ski slowly down the mountain with me, making big turns to slow down when he started feeling out of control, with a goal of getting all the way down without falling. I told him that if he concentrated on proper form, speed would come. He did it and was very proud of no falls! And he found it especially funny that Mommy fell once.

By Saturday afternoon, we were cold and tired – or at least I was. When we got home, I collapsed. Scouter started putting up Christmas lights and the kids went running around outside playing in the dusting of snow. You see where they get it from I imagine…

Sunday morning was sunny and clear and very very cold. We lollygagged a bit in the morning then hit the slopes again. My little “experts” couldn’t wait! This time surprisingly Taz took his time, determined not to fall, while Rainbow went flying down the mountain. She too experienced a spectacular fall. My theory is that everyone needs at least one good fall to instill some caution. Rainbow settled down and started thinking about control and turning too.

They did unbelievable well on the slopes and on the lifts. We got a ton of runs in again since the crowd was fairly light. When Scouter said it was time for our last run, they begged for two more. Then another… and another. We finally bribed them with cookies and hot chocolate.

At the end of the day, Taz looked and me and said, “You were right, Mommy! Speed did come!”

All of us can’t wait to do it again!
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I’m pretty sure my middle finger has frostbite… and it’s a good look for me…

This was an epic workout weekend for me.

Let me put this in perspective for you IronMan and marathon survivors out there who occasionally read this drivel: Never particularly fit to begin with, I have degenerated into a big pile of unmuscled fat. The slide started in May and has accelerated frighteningly over the last three months.

I have a number of excuses. None of which work for me as my clothes are fitting like sausage casings. I recoil in horror whenever I a catch a glimpse of my dimpled cellulite-covered ass in the mirror. Something I try to avoid at all costs but occasionally can’t avoid. Mainly because it is so… well… large. Not the mirror – the ass.

So anyway the point is that when I call a workout weekend “epic,” the bar is low.

It started on Saturday with the annual Turkey Trot at my kids’ school. We’ve never been able to go before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was bitterly cold but still very cute. Their P.E. teacher is amazing. We did a fun warm-up that included the chicken dance. Yes of course I did it! Then we started running half mile laps around the school. Rainbow was supposed to run two laps and Taz was supposed to run three to four based on grade level. After the warm up, Taz and several friends took off at a sprint. Rainbow wanted to run with me, so we wisely paced ourselves and soon passed the boys walking. Moments later, they sprinted past us and we didn’t see them again. She wanted to walk a little but really not much for the four laps that we did together. She’s a little overachiever! I taught her to take advantage of downhills and flats and not waste a walk on them. So that’s my maternal wisdom to pass down through the generations.

After Rainbow and I ran and stretched, we still couldn’t find Taz so Rainbow ran another lap at a sprint to look for him. He meandered up while she was gone, claiming that he’d run five laps. I suspect he and his friends found a spot to hide while the running was going on but I’m not sure. Taz could definitely run; at least one of his friends is not nearly as energetic. Their P.E. teacher told me that they are both “energizer bunnies” – a very apt description.

By then it was a comparatively balmy 37 degrees. (That’s Fahrenheit, Jodi – maybe 3 Celsius? Freaking cold.) I added another layer to go meet TG40 and REB for a bike ride. And a chilly ride it was! Even with my full fingered gloves and foot warmers, I was freezing. At one point I almost wrecked my bike as I was clasping my hands together trying to thaw my fingers. TG40 rode with fingerless gloves and no foot warmers. As REB pointed out, she’s much tougher than us. We rode 23 miles with a frigid head wind the entire way. Seriously. It must have shifted every time we turned. But as always it was great to see those guys and get a ride in.

As we were riding, I was enumerating the ways that cycling is better than triathlon in my head. My top 10 reasons were all various forms of “in cycling, there’s no swimming” and “drafting is legal in cycling.” I do love myself a good draft. And I rewarded myself with three Reese’s cups at the end. So there’s that.

Sunday, while Scouter and the kids went to church, I opted to be a heathen and go for a run instead. To say that I haven’t been running much would be a massive understatement. I basically goaded myself into running five miles. My first ploy was to pick a route that didn’t offer shorter options without flat out admitting defeat, turning around and going home. My second mind game was to remind myself of my friend Patty charging through a marathon after swimming 2.4 miles and riding 112, or my friend Susan hitting the wall at mile 21 of the marathon and still finishing in 3:42. She was pacing 8 minute miles until mile 21 – amazing. I couldn’t feel worse than they did, or so I told myself to keep my legs moving. I made it through and was very proud of my accomplishment.

Monday morning, just for the hell of it, I actually got my fat ass out of bed on time and did some weights. Only 30 minutes but I’ll take it.

I haven’t done a damn thing since but I’ve been a little sore and it feels really good.

Almost as good as those Reese’s cups taste.
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Mommy - ah make that Daddy - of the Year

Today Taz and I were having a chat while he ate lunch.

"Mommy, I know the 's' cuss," he announced.

"Really?" I replied noncommittally.

"Yep." And then responding to demands from his sister, he elaborated, "It starts with SH and rhymes with spit."

She was fascinated and tried several combinations before she got it right. He was so proud.

"I also know the 'f' cuss," he announced next. "Not the 'f-u' one but the other one."

I admit to being a bit puzzled. What's the other 'f' cuss? I wondered.

Apparently Taz couldn't stand the wait while I processed. "Mom, it's friggin," he said. Then he elaborated. "I know the 'b' cuss and the 'd' cuss too. My friend on the bus says there are two 'b' cusses but I think he's wrong."

I had to think for a minute to come up with two 'b' cusses, but I kept them to myself. Clearly his vocabulary of profanity is more well developed than mine. "Really?" I inquired. "And have you learned all these bad words on the bus?"

"NAH!" Taz responded.

"Where then?" I asked.

He cocked his head and looked at me as though the answer were obvious, and then he said, "From Dad. DUH. He says them all the time."
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October: A Retrospective

So yeah, I’ve sucked at blogging since… well pretty much since I started grad school. I’ve had a lot of thoughts in my head for but no time to actually write them down. In a futile attempt to catch up, here’s October in a nutshell.

The month started with – what else? – a school weekend. Which also included the wedding of one of my new school friends! Here are most of the women in the program with the beautiful bride:

About school. I’m in module 3 of 4 and this one is very difficult for me. The first two modules were short and fairly easy because I had more experience in those areas. This one requires me to do a lot of extra research. I like it though because I want to come out on the other end with this knowledge.

At one point this month, I had a complete college flashback – more than just my usual snacking and procrastination. You could even call it a meltdown instead of just a flashback. I was working on an assignment where I had to create a data model in fourth normalization. If you don’t know what that means – hey, I’m right there with you! I could follow the examples in the book but I couldn’t make the leap to actually create and apply the concepts on my own. I felt incredibly anxious and frustrated, but– just like college – because I was working on the assignment so late (9:00 Thursday night, due at noon on Friday), I couldn’t even reach out for help. In college, I would have bagged the whole thing and gone to Scouter’s fraternity party. This time, while I admit to pouring a glass of wine, I sucked it up and did the best I could to have something to turn in. So I guess I have matured a little over the last (ahem) 20 years.

Did you guys ever watch the Waltons when you were growing up? Remember the two old ladies who were constantly having sips of their “medicine” and were completely in the bag the whole time? That’s what I’m turning into.

Anyway… my program requires a significant amount of team assignments. We had one team for modules 1 & 2, a new team for module 3, and we’ll be assigned to another new team for module 4 in January. I’ve been very lucky so far. My first team named ourselves “Team Rocks” and we did just that. There were three guys and me and we brought very different skills and perspectives to the table. My team this time is “Team Pink” (which reminds me of TriGirls!). The program director thought it would be cool to have an all female team, and that’s us. The women on my team are absolutely fantastic although I will say the difference between my guy and girl teams is that the women want to spend a lot more time together. This is a highly technical module and we’ve been hurt by not having a geek on the team, but we joke that we trade geek services for diva services. And the divas have team meetings at wine shops, so you’ve gotta love that.

So as you can probably tell, school has been absorbing a disproportionate amount of my time. I’m really looking forward to a break in December.

Sadly, exercise has fallen by the wayside, especially this month. I took two weeks off after my bike wreck (with the exception of one bike ride in the middle when the fabulous TG40 took me out for a spin to get me back in the saddle – I couldn’t keep up with her, as usual, but it was awesome!). My palms still really hurt from the impact but I’ve made some modifications to my weight routine so that I can do that again. I’ve been fairly consistent with weights twice a week but I can’t figure out how to consistently run or bike. And I can’t get myself to step up to weights three times a week.

Richard, TG40 and I rode last weekend and it was awesome! Otherwise, I’m just eating, drinking and getting fat. I caught a really ugly view of the back of my legs this week and recoiled in horror. Jennifer pointed out that running is the best thing for your thighs. Sigh.

I’m promising myself a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps a late season Oly in 2009 and maybe, just maybe, stepping up to a half IM in 2010? That sounds like a long way away but I know it really isn’t.

Fun things of late include scheduling some recurring lunches with several sets of girlfriends so we can catch back up. I’ve been getting a rash of shit for constantly missing bunko, book club, girls’ weekends, etc etc. It’s nice to be missed. And I’ll be back!

My college roommate Jill and her family came to visit over the holiday weekend in early October and we all went to the mountains. There were some hilarious email exchanges between Jill and Scouter prior about city people not hiking. She offered to drive us to the trail and then meet us on the deck with cocktails afterwards. In actuality, the dads and the kids did some great hikes while she and I went to the spa and hung out on the deck. We also spent a lot of time looking at villas in Tuscany for our trip this spring. And as usual, we had a lot lot lot of cocktails, from coffee martinis to pomegranate margaritas to wine. Not surprisingly, we also had my famous (in my own mind) hangover cure protein shakes every morning.

Here are some pictures from the weekend. The trees looked more fall-like in person!

We spend another weekend in the mountains with just our family and did an awesome hike. It was very challenging with breathtaking views. Here’s the trail we had just walked. Note the red paint on trees and rocks – those are the trail markings:

Here's our nature siting of the month.... I think I prefer the bear!

And here's a shot of the view:

Here’s Scouter the mountain man:

My favorite party, the Comfort Zone Camp fall bash, was in October. I had a blast dancing with my girls to the Right On! band but sadly this is the only photo I managed to get. The party is at a horse farm and here's the barn:

And not to be political but here’s a photo from another highlight of the month:

Alright, so that’s October. What I remember of it anyway. No promises to be much better before I graduate in May, but I’ll do what I can….

Cheers!
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Congratulations, New Iron(wo)men

Congrats to all the awesome TriGirls and everyone else who competed in Ironman Florida yesterday. You are all amazing, inspirational, fantastic, unbelievable, spectacular... and frankly exhausting.

And congrats also to all the Iron(wo)men to be who took the big plunge and registered for IMFL 2009. That's a bold and brave move. I admire you.

Personally, I rode about 20 today and felt pretty damn good about myself.

You guys rock!!!!
~~~
UPDATE: IronWoman Patty (better known as Patty Who Hits Me or PWHM by Annnnn) rocked the course in 13:18. She averaged a blistering 17.7 mph on the 112 mile bike. I'm in awe!
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Mommy of the Year

I got home late tonight from a team meeting for school and my kids had already gone to sleep. Rainbow left me this note:

Dear Mommy,
I really miss you all day & night. Your gone so much & I hardley see you. Lots of hugs and kisses (I love you so much!)
x0x0x0x0x0x0:):):)

Sometimes I have to wonder - am I doing the right thing?
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Top 10 Things I Haven’t Done Since The Crash

10. Wash my hair. Admittedly, and perhaps frighteningly, that’s not so unusual.
9. Worn clothing without an elastic waistband. When your hands are barely functional, you’ve got to have easy access. And I don’t mean that in any way sexual. Scouter’s still a jackass.
8. Exercise. Again, not so unusual.
7. Worn makeup. While I desperately need it, I couldn’t endure the pain of water and pressure on my ripped up hands to wash it off.
6. Gone more than four hours without Tylenol. I think I bought the type that contains crack as the main ingredient.
5. Gone more than 12 hours without Neosporin. I couldn’t find it yesterday morning and I totally freaked out. I was frantically opening drawers and cabinets with a wild look in my eyes, asking my kids if they knew where it was, and muttering insane things like, “Mommy is VERY upset.” Is there topical crack?
4. Homework. No excuse really; just haven’t wanted to do it. Fortunately for me, the server at school crashed last night and everyone may get an extension. I have no personal knowledge of the problem but I’m told it was an issue for others.
3. Had a reasonable conversation with my husband. The bulk of his concern has been a text message on Tuesday morning to see how I was feeling. When I said I felt like I’d been hit by a truck, his response was along the lines of, “Yeah, I thought it would hurt.” Thanks for that compassion, honey.
2. Drank wine or any other alcohol. I worry that it may conflict with all the crack. And it may also have something to do with a four day binge with my college roommate last weekend – more on that topic once I recover sufficiently to properly communicate our antics. Assuming I remember any of them at this point.

And the number one thing I haven’t done since the crash is…

DRUM ROLL please!

1. Gone out of the house without a ginormous band aid on my chin. It is all the rage in Paris this season, and I must say – not only is it a very attractive accessory but also a scintillating conversation piece.
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Update

I've become a big fan of extra strength Tylenol and Neosporin in the last few days. That's some good shit. For the first two days, I was even getting up in the middle of the night to get my fix of both.

My hands are recovered to the point that I can use them somewhat - tremendously helpful in navigating life - and my chin is slowly healing. I can actually get my stitches out Saturday, if I have time. I've heard lots of horror stories from people who had far worse injuries resulting from a flying dive over handlebars, so I'm actually feeling fortunate that it wasn't worse.

Today I finally felt like myself again. Yes it still hurt to do basic things like shower and cross my legs (lots of bruises on my thigh) but I feel less as though I've been run over by a truck.

I appreciate all the love, support, messages, and phone calls. Thanks especially to my friend Cate's nine year old son who wants to be a doctor and who sent me a care package complete with a note in his "doctor handwriting" and two bandaids that look like bacon strips.

Scouter's still a jackass though.
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When you see my biking in a football helmet, you'll know why...

I haven't biked in a few weeks (or really exercised at all come to think of it) and I really miss it. So yesterday when I had the opportunity to be at home with my kids on a beautiful afternoon, I suggested that we ride around the neighborhood.

Rainbow has a cool new purple bike that she just got for her birthday. It's big and we have the seat as low as it will go, but she's doing really well on it. Taz, not surprisingly, is a hot rod and loves to ride with no hands, pop wheelies, ride up the curb, and generally show boat. He gets it from his father.

We spun around the neighborhood, stopping in to visit friends along the way. We had to stop and run a quick errand in the car, and then the kids begged for another loop. The sun was shining, the day was stunning, we were having fun... I'm game!

Traffic was a little heavier the second time around. We took a different route and stopped to see a couple more friends. Rainbow and Taz were calling, "Car back!" "car front!" and "clear!" at regular and appropriate intervals.

As we were heading home, the road got a little busier. I was looking back at traffic, turned forward, and wham! My kids were stopped right in front of me. I slammed on the breaks, my bike stopped on a dime - but my body didn't. I felt myself sailing through the air. I saw the stunned expressions on my children's faces. Then time sped up and I felt the pavement, first with my hands and then with my chin as it bounced on the ground.

Some poor woman in a mini-van stopped and wanted to drive us home - which probably would have been smart. Instead, I asked her for a tissue to hold to my chin. I tried to ride my bike home and it took me about a block to realize that my chain had fallen off and start walking my bike instead. Taz said he was amazed that I wasn't crying and was surprised when I told him I was. Thank goodness for sunglasses. Sweet little Rainbow rode the last block home as fast as she could, then ran back to get my bike.

Damn if all the kids and most of the parents on my street weren't outside playing. Pretty soon, I had a crowd when all I wanted was to get away from them. Two of my neighbors are nurses and they insisted that I go to the doctor. One of them kept my kids and called my husband while I headed to patient first. In a short time span filled with dumb moves, another one was to drive myself. My hands were stinging so it hurt to grip the steering wheel, and I had to use one to hold ice and tissues on my chin. Driving got even more fun when Scouter called. I have to say, he was much more pissed that he had to leave work than at all sympathetic. Bastard.

Anyway, I finally made it to patient first without further incident and some weird little medical assistant took my height and weight (far more frightening than the injury). I was totally freaked out by the thought of stitches. The nurse tried to reassure me by saying they were no worse than child birth - ha ha ha. NOT at all what I wanted to hear. Then she made me suffer further by dumping antiseptic over all my other lacerations. (See, I learned new terminology while I was there.)

I spent some time checking out the place while I was waiting, and Margo, you'll be happy to know they use predominantly McKesson gear. I thought about Annnn and her brave self who shed not one tear as she finished her run with a sprained ankle and a huge gash in her knee before going to get stitches.

It didn't really help.

Finally the doctor came in to stitch me up. She said the numbing part would be the worst and then proceeded to jab me repeatedly with a dagger. Yep, I'll agree with that worst part. Although watching the stitching action was a close second. Here's a picture, just for Annnn. (I'd advise everyone else to SKIP IT!)

When I got home, the children were highly sympathetic (even though Scouter still wasn't). I was very tired and in pain. That's when Rainbow suggested that I start wearing a football helmet with a chin strap and the mouth guard.

A damn good idea.

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The dog ate my homework and other unacceptable excuses

So. Yesterday I spent hours on a one page paper. It is very bad. While I was purportedly working on said paper, I ate four cookies, two bites of brownie, some French fries and Rainbow’s leftover chicken tenders. I helped Taz with his math homework. He read to me, and then Rainbow read to me. We sorted their spelling words. I folded laundry. We watched Zoey 101. I hate Zoey 101. Then I updated my blog and read several others. I cried for awhile because Annnnn is threatening to deprive me of her wit for an entire month. I celebrated Debbie Jo’s phenomenal swim at Naylor’s with her sweet swim angel TG40. I went up and down the stairs 45 times to get water, rub heads, and finally to threaten sanctions if a certain two children did not go to sleep…NOW! I talked to a friend on the phone. I put laundry away. I sorted my sock drawer. Okay not really but I might as well have.

My paper meanwhile is in sad shape. There are some random thoughts, a disclaimer, and a few partial references stuck at the bottom. That’s it.

My excuse at least to myself is that it’s a stupid assignment.

It really is.

But still, I have to do it. And do it reasonably well.

I think I have some toilets to clean …
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Sunshine

My life of late has shrunken to include only school and work. It is fairly tedious. I get up, get the kids ready for school and on the bus, go to work, help the kids with their homework, go to school or to a team meeting to work on homework… and that’s about it.

But suddenly a ray of sunshine entered my life. Not really, because it has been cold and rainy here the last two days. But metaphorically, my world got brighter on Wednesday when I met some of my TriGirlfriends for lunch. I miss those girls.

We were a small but rowdy group and somehow as lunch wore on, more and more tables around us became vacated. Lest you think the restaurant was just emptying, let me assure you that was not the case. We were at an island surrounded by empty tables with an outer ring of all full tables.

One man who inexplicably pulled his table very close to ours learned more than he ever wanted to know about breast feeding.

I had fun dinner plans Wednesday night too. All the women in my graduate program, two of our professors and several women from previous classes went to dinner. I think I must have carried some TriGirl mojo with me because this group was pretty rowdy too and we closed the place down. After we drank all their wine.

It was a good day and reminded me that I need to lift my head every now and then to reconnect with the people I love and plan some fun with the people I spend a lot of suffer time with.

Am I prohibited from participating in amateur events now?

Let me set the stage - I learned to golf as an adult. It does not feel natural and I imagine I look a bit like an out-of-control windmill. If windmills had big thighs. A good 90% of the time that I hit the ball, I either miss it entirely or it rolls about four inches.

And that's as good as it got when I actually used to play fairly regularly...

Since I was pregnant with Taz nine years ago, I've barely swung a club. The first time was at the driving range at our family reunion in July, when Rainbow critiqued my swing and actually gave me some great tips. She also did a pretty entertaining imitation of my form, with her little butt sticking way out. It looked like a combo golf swing/dance move. And I'm sure her imitation had far more style than my actual move.

The next day, Scouter and I played in a couples tournament. It was totally my style - our foursome of two couples competed against another foursome in a best ball format. That means we all hit our shot, then we picked up our ball and carried it to the best player's location to hit again. The pro told us that ladies are allowed to tee all our drive and fairway shots. Since I have a tendency to top everything, this was beautiful for me. We didn't use many of my shots, but I didn't humiliate myself either.

A few days later, Scouter, the kids and I played a par 3. I could not have played worse. Or cared less. Rainbow and I bailed after the front nine. My only regret is that I was such a poor example to her. But we had fun.

So fast forward a couple months, and somehow I got roped into playing in a work event. I was suckered in by a smooth talker who told me they wanted a woman on every team and that it was all for fun. He said his goal was to make all the other business teams wish they worked for us because we were having so much fun. Hey I can do that. My commitment was to hit a drive when the women's tee offered a significant advantage, putt first, drink beer, and have fun.

Turns out, I was the only woman who played for my company. In general there were not many women at the event other than the beer wenches. I was paired, thankfully, with three guys I know. But I didn't know they were expert golfers! One guy played in college and the other two must play a lot. Even when I had a big advantage on the tee and the dumb luck to hit a decent shot (for me), theirs were better. I didn't even bother to hit any fairway shots.

Somehow I managed to get my tee shot on the green on the par 3 that was the closest to the hole pin for the women. I overshot the pin by a good 30 feet but the guys on my team encouraged me to fill in my name and location anyway. The green was long and narrow, so maybe no other woman would get on it. I have to admit, I thought it was laughable.

We played on, and I even drank a few beers. For awhile, they even made my play better. Or perhaps they just made me think I was playing better. No matter...

After the round, there was a cookout and an awards ceremony. We finished at nine under and the winner was something like 18 under. There was much speculation about cheating. We left before the awards.

Later that night, my neighbor came over to deliver my prize. Lo and behold, I won closest to the pin for the women! I got a nice plaque and a $50 gift certificate to the golf club.

I've got a huge golf bug right now.

And I bet Annika Sorenstam is pretty nervous.
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I scoff at high gas prices

Seriously, have any of us ever seen this in our lifetimes? Check out the $0.599 per gallon rate at the bottom right.

I used my Ukrops valued customer card and saved $3.50 per gallon on gas tonight. Sweet! For those of you not in Richmond, Ukrops is a local grocery store that cut a deal with local gas stations . For ever $50 you spend in groceries, you get $0.50 off per gallon of gas. I obviously hadn't been taking advantage of this offer... until now!

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Commiserating

So...

I'm on day two of Scouter being out of town on a business trip and I just read Dooce's hilarious account of being home alone with her preschooler. OMG that woman is funny. I feel so much better. At least I didn't decide to do an arts and crafts project!

We spent much of yesterday shopping for Halloween costumes, birthday presents, and a new backpack. Today thank God they had school. We haven't had a meal at home yet. I forced myself to have a salad tonight since all I've eaten for two days is red meat.

It is 10 p.m. Taz is still awake and Rainbow is asleep in my bed. I call this a victory compared to last night when they both slept in my bed and I got no sleep whatsoever. Every time I tried to sneak into one of their beds, someone woke up and wanted to know why I wasn't in the middle and where I was going.

I am happy that Scouter is coming home tomorrow but a little concerned about all the dish washing and vacuuming I have to do in preparation.
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Mommy of the Year

I was in a meeting this week with a woman who had a plaque that read:

Raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens.

That really resonated with me.
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Here's the fairy tale I'll tell my daughter... when she's a little older!

Misnomer

If this is "labor" day I gotta tell you, I love it.

We slept in this morning then enjoyed a leisurely breakfast before heading out for a hike. The one we did today was classified as "difficult" and there were some great rocky ascents and descents. It took us an hour and 45 minutes to hike about two miles. That's either a testament to the difficulty or too our casual mindset.

After hiking, we hung out on the deck a bit and Scouter got a wild hair and started popping chillies. (Those are beers in Scouter lingo.) We lit the grill for chops and corn. I opened a bottle of Blue Mountain Brewery Mandolin artisanal ale. Now Scouter and I are both very mellow while Taz and Rainbow run circles around the house.

Taz tasted a sip of beer and now he says he wants to live in the mountains forever so that all he has to do for the rest of his life is hike and drink beer.
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Wow what a view!

Here are some photos from our various hikes this weekend. Enjoy!

What's that saying about a bear shitting in the woods?

We're in the mountains for Labor Day weekend, and today we decided to try a new series of trails that were recommended to us by a local guy.

To access the trail, we had to walk down a gravel access road to a substation. It wasn't very pretty and it was steeply downhill. When we got to the trail, it was open and beautiful. We hiked for awhile and heard water. Before long, we saw a stream and soon afterwards, we crossed over it. Our destination was a scenic overlook that was stunning. Other than Taz thinking he was invincible and dancing too close to the edge, it was a very nice break.

On the way back, we were walking single file up a hill, with Taz and Duchess leading the way, Scouter following close behind, Rainbow and I about ten feet behind bringing up the rear. All of a sudden, Scouter started backing down the trail pulling Taz with him and almost ran over Rainbow. I heard a rustle and we all started backing slowly down the trail. Scouter was clearly concerned.

We stood in silence for a few seconds, then Scouter told us he had heard a deep growl and he was pretty sure it was a bear. None of us saw anything.

Of course, the embellishment began at that point and suddenly Taz had not only heard a growl but he had seen a huge 500 pound black bear right beside him.

We considered our options. Forward was toward where the growl had been, but backwards looped around in the direction we thought the bear had gone.

We loitered a little longer then ventured forth slowly and making a lot of noise. As we edged past where we had been previously when Scouter heard the growl, we saw a big pile of apparently fresh bear scat. That's shit for you non-mountain people like me. (I had no idea.)

We continued to hike noisily through the woods and soon returned to the trail head. The kids kept saying they heard growling the rest of the way. Scouter was apprehensive while I was trying to make jokes so the kids wouldn't be terrified of the woods. Needless to say, that wide access rode by the substation looked pretty good to all of us, even with the steep ascent.

So what does happen when a bear shits in the woods?

Apparently he doesn't like to be interrupted!

Can't blame the guy, really.
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Catching up since vacation

So did anybody notice that I had a run in late July where I was fairly prolific? It was all for SusieQ and Margo, you know. But it turns out that I’m just not interesting enough to blog every day. Who knew???

I have had a number of posts bouncing around in my head but no time to write them, so here’s a quick summery of Life of TriDi since vacation.

The week we got back, Scouter announced that he was starting to go to work early. Why this schedule change couldn’t wait until school started for the kids is beyond me. Since the few pathetic workouts I’ve done this summer have been in the morning – which is the only time I have – I was screwed.

Has he been talking to Thomas???

He made concessions to let me run Tuesday morning and bike Wednesday morning, thank goodness. And the weather cooperated by being a little cooler so I could run one night. And I got my butt into the attic to do a weight workout. So it wasn’t a total bust.

Wednesday’s ride was a blast. We had a pretty large group consisting of some of my all time favorite bike partners: Richard, Deanna, Jackie, and Patty. We rode 16 miles at a 17.6 pace which is quite good for me. I’m sure I had more to say on this topic but it all escapes me now.

The weekend was its usual craziness. I had school on Friday and Saturday with a ton of work to do to prepare – mostly brought on by the fact that I did nothing in the Hamptons and had to do all my work in two days.

Saturday afternoon, we went to a cookout at Jennifer’s house. Two of her sisters were there too and it was fabulous to catch up with all of them. I threatened to reveal more about the evening on my blog, but again – too much time has passed. Sunday, we went to Northern Virginia to take Scouter’s parents to the Lion King at the Kennedy Center. What a great show!

This week, my workouts have been similarly restricted. I did weights Monday and Thursday, and on Tuesday I ran after work while Taz biked beside me. That’s always fun. Wednesday, Richard, Deanna and I planned a ride but darkness and rain convinced us to skip it. We really need the rain so I’m trying hard not to complain. Friday I did the big nothing. This morning (Saturday) I had good intentions to run but didn’t. This afternoon, I mentioned to Scouter that he needed to kick my butt out the door to run tomorrow and he suggested the alternative to run tonight. My immediate reaction was NO WAY! I’m too tired. But then I decided it was a good idea and ran my four mile mountain route. It was hard but fortunately I forgot my Garmin so I don’t have to face pathetic stats.

Now, I’m looking forward to a relaxing holiday weekend! More to come…

Woo Hoo!

Trip Report

You know, most triathlete blogs offer up a race report with some regularity. At house 'o TriDi, since there is no racing going on this year, you get a Trip Report instead.


Every summer, we are lucky enough to go to the Hamptons with my college roommate Jill and her family. They live in Manhattan and have a second home there. I think the key to our inclusion is that our kids are the same age as their older kids. And I'll take it!


This year, I had school the weekend we were leaving. It was the first weekend back for the third module of the program. I was excited to see everyone again after our July break but I'm very nervous about this module - it is the most unfamiliar to me and will be the most difficult. Therefore, it is the one I need the most! On Friday, we found out where we're going for our class trip. I'd heard a lot of talk about Africa, Quatar, and Egypt so I was fully prepared to go somewhere that would be a good educational trip but maybe not the funnest location. I was delirious then when I found out we are going to Italy!!!! Interestingly, we had planned a trip to Italy with Jill and Andy for the summer of 2000 - almost exactly the week that I delivered little baby Taz. So I was even more excited to head to NY and convince them to meet us in Italy after my class trip!


We left late Saturday afternoon and spent the night at Scouter's parent's house in Northern Virginia. That drive to NoVa was the worst part of the whole trip! Traffic on 95 is a nightmare. We left their house at 5 a.m. on Sunday - Scouter's plan so that the kids and I sleep for a few hours and the trip is less excruciating for all involved. So we arrived at their house before lunch. Scouter and I hadn't even gotten out of the car by the time Taz and Rainbow were already in the basement playing Wii with their buddies!


The first thing Jill and I did was cut up fruit to ferment for Blackbirds, all the while discussing the cocktails we were going to have that week. She had a new pear martini recipe that sounded intriguing. Andy teased us unmercifully, all the while uncorking a bottle of wine to have with lunch.


Yes, that's the kind of vacation we enjoy!


We spent the day lounging by their pool and I have to admit to napping just a bit in the afternoon. Before long, it was happy hour time (or tini time as we like to call it). We started off with a tried and true lemon/citrus martini - whatever the correct name for it is. Eventually we grilled steaks with tomato casserole and broccoli, because we forgot to bring the corn we'd bought.


I should probably warn you now that Jill's and my favorite way to while away the morning is by looking at recipes and planning dinner. We both like to cook almost as much as we like to eat.


Monday, the guys took the kids to the beach while Jill and I hung out at her house. I forced myself to go for a four mile run, mainly because I have a route I really enjoy up there and wanted to see all the gorgeous homes. Then I pretended like I was going to do homework but really I just carried a book around with me as I moved the angle of my lounge chair to maximize the sun. There really is no point given that I wear 45 block but I suppose it's force of habit. We ran some errands including a trip to the grocery for that night's dinner materials and while we were out, we heard there was a tornado watch on Long Island. We called the boys, who didn't believe us but came home anyway. By 3:00, it was pouring rain. We never did experience the golf ball size hail that some counties experienced. Instead, we sat under their covered deck, drank Blackbird martinis, and played Taboo. When the rain subsided, we grilled chicken for my absolute favorite Cobb salad. It's a Bobby Flay recipe and it is amazing - I request it every year.


Tuesday, the boys took the kids to the beach again. Then I gave up all pretense of doing homework and lounged by the pool reading one of Jill's novels, In The Woods, instead. It was quite good. We got a little crazy at tini time and exceeded our two martini limit, which was learned the hard way in previous years. I guess we are like children and needed to test our boundaries! We had a fantastic dinner of lobster, orzo and corn, pear and goat cheese salad along with lots of wine. After we put the kids to bed, we played Wii karaoke. Jill and I sang "YMCA" and each of the guys sang a song and we recorded them. We even made our own Mii characters. It was hilarious! When we played them back to the kids the next day, we were all laughing hysterically while they were looking at us like we were nuts. We actually scared Jill's younger children.


Wednesday we ventured to the beach with the whole crew - the two guys and all six kids. The ocean was freezing and New Yorkers have no sense of personal space, but the weather was beautiful and it was nice to see the beach this summer. Scouter had his celebrity sighting coup of all time with Sienna Miller in a white string bikini. That night after tini time, we grilled pork chops and peaches with an amazing sauce. I can't even remember what we had with it but rest assured plenty of planning went into the whole meal. We were a little lower key that evening and did something crazy like watch the Olympics. This might be the night that the four of us spent a lot of time searching the Internet for villas in Italy and discussing options for where to stay. We're deciding between Tuscany and Portafina. Ah, decisions decisions!


Thursday the boys took the kids bowling and back to the beach. I want to say this is the morning I ventured out for my second run. I know I was evilly hung over and figured I was going to be miserable no matter what so I might as well run. It did make me feel better, once it was finally over. Then Jill and I went out to lunch and to the spa. I had a facial and Jill had a massage. Afterwards we were in veg mode and opted to go out to dinner. Jill's mom came to help her nanny watch the kids so we could go. I have to say that the restaurants we'd been to previously were over priced and frankly kind of average. This one however was amazing! It was called Almondcello. I think that's how it's spelled. I had a tomato, basil and mozzarella salad to start and a fabulous scallop dish as my main course. Scouter and I split a warm chocolate hazelnut torte for dessert and I swear it was the best thing I've ever eaten. We shared tastes and all dishes were equally delicious. When we got back, Jill's mom raved about how good our kids are and I said a silent prayer that they tend to behave better for other people. And they were all asleep - bonus! I think she bribed them with dollars to go to bed and not talk. Seriously. That's the kind of crap you can pull when you're the grandma. My kids have adopted her and pop-pop (whom they call Popsicle) as their third set of grandparents.


Friday the guys golfed in the morning while we hung with the kids at the house. When the guys got back, they were wiped so we hung at the pool all day. Even the kids were happy at the pool after so much beach time. I made shrimp and grits for dinner because I thought it was very funny to introduce my northern friends to a southern recipe. I'm not sure they enjoyed it but Scouter did.


Saturday the boys snuck in another golf game. I knew nothing about their plans until Scouter woke me up when it was still dark outside to tell me he was leaving. Jill said Andy did the same thing. Then they took the older kids to a friend's pool and my poor little Taz got stung on his head by hornets. Jill's nanny, who is from Georgia (the former USSR Georgia, not ours) treated the bites with vodka. I have to admit I was hesitant but it seemed to work. Popsicle brought us ribs for lunch and we made the orzo with corn again to see if it was as good sober as we thought it was earlier in the week. We had steak for dinner in celebration of Scouter's upcoming birthday, which we do every year, with blueberry pie for dessert. I don't remember what else we had. I think the alcohol had seeped into every pore of my body by then and my brain was mush. We were reasonable well behaved Saturday night, mainly because we had to pack. We left early the next morning to head back to Richmond after another great week in the Hamptons.

Ah, good times. When we got home, I had to ask the kids and Scouter how their vacations were because we all had our individual experiences with our friends.

I can't wait until next year!
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Mommy of the Year

So tonight Taz was such a complete pain in the ass that even he finally got tired of getting scolded and announced that he was running away from home.

Scouter held the door open while I called "goodbye!"

Sadly, he was bluffing.

Lessons Learned

We are, sadly, at the end of our annual week of vacation in the Hamptons with my college roommate and her family. We've had a blast, as always, and while you wait patiently for a full trip report, here are some lessons I've learned this week (some more painfully than others):

1. Stop after two martinis. Three are a really bad idea.
2. Happy hours that start at 3 p.m. are a bad idea as well.
3. Hot dogs for breakfast are very entertaining for kids.
4. Running, cramping, and hangover(ing) all suck individually but combined result in a death march.
5. When I'm not training for a race, I'm extremely unmotivated to exercise on vacation. That one's a shocker, eh?
6. Taboo is a fun cocktail game and the clues get very creative as time goes on.
7. My college roommate is still one of the coolest girls I've ever met.
8. Wine with lunch leads directly to an afternoon nap.
9. Trips planned at midnight will probably never happen.
10. Karaoke songs played back the next morning are still hysterically funny to the adults but the kids think it's a little weird.

Insightful, aren't I?

Year to Date

Yikes! I didn't realize how long it had been since I updated my exercise stats on the right. They're pretty lame, but not as bad as they showed before.

By comparison to 2007, I have actually run more year-to-date in 2008. Training for that little half marathon in March must have really helped my numbers. Plus, running is the one thing I've been able to do pretty consistently this year.

Everything else is dismal by comparison. I've biked less than half as much this year, done 25% less weight training, 66% less yoga, and 100% less swimming. Sadly, I have not been in the pool other than to play with my kids this summer. I'm really not at all sad about it until I look at the big fat zero on my stats.

So alas, it is what it is.

Maybe it will be motivating. Maybe I'll have another glass of wine.

With a Little Help from my Friends

Did you know that it’s still dark at 6 a.m. now? I just realized that it was getting light later last week as I started my early morning bike rides in dim lighting and got to see the sun rise.

As much as I miss the light in the morning, it is a huge bonus at night when I can get my kids to bed a little earlier.

But I digress…

So yesterday morning, my cycling chicks and I met at 6:15 instead of 6:00. It was so nice to have an extra 15 minutes of sleep and – surprise of all – I actually got there five minutes early. I even remembered to bring some lube to treat my poor little squeaky chain that has been complaining for weeks. Maybe months. And I pumped my tire without giving myself a flat – what a good day!

TG40 came rolling in shortly thereafter and apparently I passed my bad mojo onto her for the week. Her tire was so flat that she couldn’t even get air into it at all. Neither of us had replaced spare tubes we used with recent flats, so sadly she had to leave us on four wheels instead of the two she usually smokes me with. Had it been me, I would have gone back to bed; she was planning to fit in a swim. So impressively dedicated.

Megan remembered that she lived right down the street and biked to our meeting spot this time. (Last time we met there, she drove and kicked herself about three quarters of the way through the ride when she realized what she’d done. But hey, it’s awfully early.)

We ended up starting our ride about a half hour later than usual. It’s amazing what a difference 30 minutes makes with traffic but it still wasn’t too bad. The only problem with this route is that there isn’t much chat time – a huge priority of mine – but we managed to fit some in. It’s so great to see my girls and catch up during the week.

We ended up riding 19.5 miles at 17.5 mph average. I’d like to reverse those numbers one day so that I’m riding at a 19.5 mph pace… but I think that would take a leetle more training than I’m currently doing! Maybe next year.

Beautiful day. Nice ride.

It’s all good.

Mommy of the Year

I come in the door from work to be greeted with great joy. Taz and Rainbow tackle me with hugs and kisses while Duchess jumps around frantically yelping for my attention and licking my legs. Scouter grunts… a good indication of how the afternoon has been.

Within seconds, both kids resume whatever argument they were in prior to my arrival. I attempt to flee upstairs while Scouter resumes whatever discipline he was in the process of dishing out. But, I get sucked into the argument before I hit the steps. And Scouter is the one to flee to another room behind a closed door.

Next comes a flurry of dinner related activities, which include me listing 100,000 options for meals and the kids rejecting every single one. Generally, they narrow the choices to chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, or hot dogs. Then we argue the merits of fruit, vegetables, and milk. I mean how bad can strawberries, baby carrots slathered in ranch dressing, or chocolate milk really taste?

I know, I know – smart parents make one meal and the family enjoys it together. I’m sure the kids even thank the parent for preparing a delicious healthy meal. Yeh. I’ve tried that. The results were me jumping up from the table every five seconds until my meal was stone cold, listening to gagging sounds from Rainbow as she refused to even taste anything on her plate, while Scouter threatened early bedtime and no dessert.

Here's the alternative. Still in my work clothes, I scamper around the kitchen getting napkins and more ketchup, mopping up spilled milk, and unloading the dishwasher.

Next comes bath time which means another argument ensues as both Taz and Rainbow want to use the shower in my bathroom instead of their own. Once they’ve seen the light of compromise, I have a brief respite to change clothes - and fold laundry. A half hour later, I have two reasonably clean children and two bathrooms to mop.

Now the clamoring for dessert begins in earnest. After another restaurant quality verbal menu of options, they make their decisions and proceed to trash the kitchen once more.

About the time I give a five minute warning for bed, Taz announces that he’s starving and begs for more dinner. He is a bundle of energy so I can imagine that he’s burned off a lot of calories by then. Generally I capitulate and offer a bowl of cereal.

Once they finally accept that it is in fact bed time, they crawl (literally) up the stairs on all fours as slowly as they possibly can. By then, they are “sooooo exhausted” that they can’t possibly brush their teeth. Getting them into bed involves multiple requests for water and more kisses.

After Scouter and I finally finish the bed time ritual, he generally makes his own dinner while I snarf a Dove dark chocolate bar and chase it with a glass of wine.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Miscellany

Ahhh, I haven’t done a good miscellany post in awhile.

Truth be told, I’ve never done a good miscellany post…

(BA HA HA! That never gets old!)

So I’ve truly got nothing. I’ve been a slacker the last two days. Thursday, I had no intention of waking up early, opting instead to stay in bed and nurse my slight hangover. Friday, I had good intentions to weight train. Truly. I woke up at 6:30 and decided I could stay in bed for 15 more minutes. The next thing I knew, it was 8:00 and I was scrambling to get ready for work.

Damn. Fortunately, I was able to fit a run in this morning. Scouter is a good man. I did my hilly mountain route which is brutal as punishment for being such a slacker this week. The first ¾ of a mile is uphill. As I was running, a woman on a bike pulled out in front of me and I was keeping pace with her. That’s pretty sad considering I was at a 12 minute mile pace, trying not to have a heart attack during my warm up. Shortly thereafter, I passed a man who was shuffling along. “You’re more of a man than me,” he said. Hmmm. About a mile later, I was on another big hill when I passed a guy walking his dog. He said, “That’s quite a hill.” “It’s kicking my butt!” I panted back. I’m not sure how far I ran because my Garmin tracks this route differently every time – I’ll have to drive it one of these days because I really want to know.

Otherwise, I’m looking forward to getting some sleep this weekend! Those old sayings about burning your candle at both ends and meeting yourself coming back sound hauntingly familiar to me about now. Methinks I am overcommitted.

July was supposedly a break from school but somehow I did not notice any extra time, particularly since we had two books to read. One, The World Is Flat version 2.0, is pretty good but very long (and repetitive). The other is some book on IT security that bores me to death just to look at the cover. This semester is going to be difficult for me. It is the most outside of my experience and interests. Therefore it is likely the one I need the most.

The big excitement in my life about now is all about new appliances. My parents gave us a gas grill which I am totally loving. This weekend, I’m trying new recipes for grilled chicken with mustard sauce and flank steak with a red wine marinade. Yum. We’re also getting a new washer and dryer this weekend and I couldn’t be happier. Laundry has been a pain in the patootie for the last few months and has involved me hauling clothes, sheets and towels all over the place. They’re being delivered today – yippee!

Rainbow is well again and so far (knock on wood), no one else has gotten ill. Hopefully any incubation period has passed.

Oh, I somehow managed to commit myself to a golf tournament through work. They were looking for women to get the advantage of the red tees, and I stupidly said that I play a little. Actually what I said is that I suck but apparently that’s good enough for this crew. So now I’m nervous that I’m going to totally humiliate myself in front of my co-workers. I’ve got to get out on the course and practice practice practice! In my copious free time, you know.

Feeling overwhelmed…

Perhaps it is time to mix up another batch of alcohol infused fruit…

Girl Time

I invited some girlfriends over for drinks last night, and as my best girlfriend, Rainbow was ready to help. When I got home from work last night, she was dressed for company in a cute little skirt and top and she couldn’t wait to help me get ready. She ran upstairs to pick out my outfit and presented me with a business skirt and a sweater that didn’t match. I told her that I was thinking about wearing shorts, so she quickly selected a different outfit for me and then ran to change her own. After we were both dressed, she said we looked “cute and casual.”

Next Rainbow began assembling appetizers. She served peanuts, chips, and vegetables. She even offered strawberries which are her absolute favorite – high praise. She kept asking when my friends were going to be there so she could entertain them. She was so excited when the doorbell rang!

We all had martinis – ours were the famous-in-my-own-mind Blackbirds while Rainbow had water in a plastic martini glass. She entertained us with her Miley Cirus CD – always a crowd pleaser – and a gymnastics exhibition before settling in for some girl talk.

After another Blackbird, I was repeating myself yet acting as though I was telling a story for the first time. And then after champagne (which is quite tasty over the Blackbird fruit), I’m pretty sure I was slurring my words and no one cared whether I was repeating myself or not. Or maybe that was just me.

In fact, I may or may not have committed to doing Ironman Florida 2009.

(Actually, I’m kidding. I know emphatically that I did no such thing.)

After the girls left, I told Scouter that I was really drunk. He chuckled and shook his head knowingly. Somehow this morning I awoke in my bed in my pjs even though I have no recollection of getting there.

I need to learn to pace myself.

Perhaps I need more practice. Happy hour anyone?

Cheers!

Or then again, let's not...

After my fun bike ride on Monday morning, I was looking forward to going again today – especially since my riding buddy Richard was joining me. We haven’t been able to cycle together much at all since winter.

The first sign that the ride was ill-fated occurred Monday night, when my poor little angel Rainbow threw up most of the night. I warned Richard that I may be next and we arranged that I would email him this morning if I could still come. Fortunately, I didn’t get sick (yet) and I was ready to roll.

My uncertainty must have thrown Richard off his game because he arrived without cycling shoes and couldn’t go. I’m not a big fan of riding by myself but since I was awake and ready at 6:00 a.m., I figured I may as well do a short ride.

Being alone with my thoughts is not a good thing.

For the first few miles, my whiny self-talk was all about how crappy I felt, how my quads were burning and my legs were tired, where I could pull over in case the stomach bug hit, blah blah blah. Then I hit a more remote section of the route and my negative little brain began to imagine all sorts of situations wherein I, a solo rider, was abducted and tortured in some way. I actually started imagining calling Scouter to give him a description (“scary”) and license plate (“freaky stalker”) of someone following me. This exercise went on for a few miles until I finally turned around. Since I was still in a remote area, I then had the opportunity to dwell on how I would protect myself against someone if necessary. Finally I reached civilization again and got my mind back on my ride. It was a relief to think about hills, pedal strokes, and breathing.

When I got back to my car, I was a sweaty mess. I’m not sure whether it was the humidity or my self-induced anxiety. Statistics were 15 miles at 17.5 mph average speed.

Come join me next week, will ya? I need to be saved from myself.

Let's Ride!

I’ve been coordinating 6 a.m. bike rides throughout the summer. While my email distribution list is long, there haven’t been many takers. Typically, only one person joins me. It’s been fun to ride with different people throughout the summer. On the peak ride (so far), there were five of us which was a blast.

Yesterday, TriGirls Amy and Jennifer joined me. As usual, I cursed profusely when the alarm clock went off and it was still pitch black outside. Why oh why do I do this to myself, I wondered. Then my stomach blobbed over my pajamas as I got out of bed and I was quickly reminded of one good reason.

As I got all my stuff together and headed out the door, I was surprised that it was foggy and sprinkling a bit. I hadn’t communicated an inclement weather plan and Jennifer was traveling a long way to ride so I figured I’d better go anyway. The fog increased significantly as I was driving and I definitely thought there would be no ride. Starbucks was sounding really good to me… assuming it is even open that early. But as I got closer to West Creek, the fog lessened. Hmm, maybe.

No one else appeared to be questioning whether to ride or not, so I got myself together, managed to pump my tires without giving myself a flat, and off we went. The fog was intermittent but not too bad along River Road. We had limited time so we rode out 30 minutes and then turned around at Parham to come back. Somehow I ended up in the lead – age before beauty I guess – and I could hear J and Amy talking and laughing some behind me. River is a little busy so it’s not a great chatting route but it is a fun ride. There are a few reasonably challenging uphills and therefore some fun dive-bomb downhills. In total, we rode a tad over 17 miles at 17.3 mph average.

And that’s when I remembered why I get up so early to ride. What a fabulous way to start the day. I can’t wait to do it again.

This Weekend at the Lake

My titles are so very creative, aren’t they?!?!

Months ago, Cate, Beanie and I scheduled a weekend with our families at Cate’s parent’s amazing lake house. Thank goodness we did because all our summers have been so busy that we’ve barely seen each other!

Cate, Beanie and families arrived early for some play time at the lake and, apparently, many many cocktails. By the time we arrived, everyone was very happy. Loopy, even. We hung out on the dock for awhile and caught up. I was so tired and was shocked to find that although I thought I was going to bed early, it was actually 1 a.m. following several margaritas and lots of girl talk. Fortunately, I felt okay the next morning. I can’t say the same about my two girlfriends!

Saturday morning, they slept and I ran while the boys took the kiddies fishing and out on the boat for some tubing. After an intermission to jet ski, where Scouter tried to launch me from my seat, we all went out on the boat in the afternoon. Taz couldn’t wait to try knee-boarding. He practiced near the shore and was ready to go once he got on the board behind the boat. He did great! He also wanted to try water skiing which didn’t go so well. He popped up but kept going forward, getting a face full of lake. Whoops! Rainbow surprised me by wanting to knee board too, and she also popped right up and had a great ride. Both of them had big smiles on their faces the whole time.

Once all the kids who wanted to had an opportunity to knee board or ski, the adults got in the mix with water skis. Scouter went first. He is a hot dog on skis, constantly cutting back and forth through the wake and trying to race the boat. When it was my turn, I couldn’t wait and leaped in the lake. I have always slalom-skied and can’t really ski on two skis as a result, so Rainbow thought I was the best skier because I dropped one (tee hee). I mostly stayed behind the boat but I did blow through the wake a few times just to see if I could still do it. It was a blast!

By the time we finished dinner that night, I thought I was going to fall asleep standing up. Somehow I managed to rally for longer than I thought before I collapsed into bed, fully anesticized. (Which I’ve spelled so badly that spell check can’t even figure out what I mean – hopefully, you can.)

The next day, we got to do it all again. Well, except for the running and the skiing for me. I had more of a lazy day on the boat watching the kids knee board, then we lounged on the dock for awhile before we had to head home. We were teasing Cate’s husband about being our activity director for the weekend. He is quite good at it! Very, very fun.

My grandparents had a river house so I grew up spending summers at the river, water skiing, fishing, and crabbing. What a great way to spend the summer as a kid! My parents have the house now and I’m thinking they need to buy a ski boat… for the grandchildren, you know!

Workout Week in Review

I haven’t done one of these posts in awhile but I’m reasonably happy with my level of activity last week so… here goes!

Sunday: I actually ran on the weekend – shocking! We were in the mountains so my run was a leetle bit hilly. Garmin was not my friend and kept giving me a “weak signal” message but I’m going to assume that I ran slightly more than the 2.39 miles it registered in 45 minutes of activity. I ran a new route and there were some major hills. Even the downhills were tough because they are so steep. Nonetheless, it was great to be out and moving.

Monday: Nothing. My excuse is that I had to go out of town on business for the day, leaving at 6:45 a.m. and returning at 6:30 p.m. Yes I could have exercised that night but suffice to say, I didn’t even seriously consider the possibility.

Tuesday: Beanie couldn’t run (waahhh!) so I had to venture forth alone. I slogged along for about two miles then checked my Garmin and realized that my pace was over 11 min/mile. OMG! None of my excuses were legit so I had no choice but to pick it up. As I was running, I passed a man going the other way who had the perfect runner’s body – long, lean, muscular legs – picture a Lane girl with a penis. Seeing him forced me to confront the fact that my reduced exercise schedule coupled with the same (poor) eating habits have caused me to look remarkably like the Stay Puff marshmallow man. I picked up the pace a little more. By the time I finished four miles, I had an impressive negative split with an overall pace of 9:56 min/mile. And I was sweaty and out of breathe. Good stuff.

Wednesday: Richard is back!!!! He met me to bike at 6 a.m. I have to admit, I was a little cranky about getting up so early as always, but riding with Richard was a blast. I immediately tucked into his draft and cruised there pretty much the whole ride. Toward the end, I offered to lead. He gave me a look that said, “why bother now?” while he actually said, “that’s okay – it’s a short ride.” We rode 17 miles at 17.0 mph and discovered a great new route in the process.

Thursday: I planned to run, I really did. Beanie couldn’t join me again – our schedules were totally opposite last week. But I set my alarm and got my stuff ready the night before. When my alarm went off, Scouter looked at me and said, “You need some sleep.” I have been really really tired – this summer has been difficult sleep-wise because my kids have been staying up late and I’ve been attempting to get up early to exercise. It’s the only time I seem to be able to fit it in! Plus we didn’t get much sleep in WV last week. Once the babies woke up, my kids woke up and then it was full blast throughout each day! So anyway, on Thursday I lounged in bed for awhile. Taz woke up and we snuggled a bit. Finally at the last possible moment, I went up to our attic where Scouter keeps his weight equipment and fit in a little workout. It is amazing how much I hurt myself in 30 minutes! Granted, one must achieve a certain lack of fitness to experience these same results. I was trying to get as much exercise into a small amount of time as possible, so after a quick warm-up, I did supersets of squats, lunges, dead lifts, flies, reverse flies, static squat while doing shoulders and biceps, triceps, and abs. By that night, my pecs hurt and by the next day, my quads added their opinion to the mix. It was a good kind of pain and reminded me that I really need to get back on a normal weight lifting schedule. Once a month is probably not going to do it.

Friday: Yet again I had good intentions to run but this time they were derailed by an early morning meeting.

Saturday: I made up the Friday run and am particularly proud of myself because we were at the lake with friends (more on that later) and we stayed up late drinking margaritas the night before. I had a nice, flat four mile run at a smoking (for me) 9:06 min/mile pace. Later that day, I water skied for the first time in years – literally, I think I’ve skied one other time since college and I didn’t ski more than twice while I was in college, but I used to ski a lot as a kid. It was so fun that I didn’t want to stop! When I did, my hammies were quivering. The next day (and today), my upper back and shoulders were very vocal about how old ladies maybe shouldn’t attempt to water ski. I wouldn’t have listened but didn’t have the opportunity to go again anyway. Probably best for my ability to move today!

So this week, we’ll see whether I learned a lesson about the benefits of exercise or not. I’ve started out questionably with nothing on Sunday and a bike ride on Monday. Will there be another WWIR next week? We’ll all just have to wait and see…

Last Weekend

After a crazy overcrowded week with Scouter's family - all of them - we spend a nice relaxing weekend in the mountains last weekend.

Friday, the kids and I were there without a car so we opted to walk to the pool. I thought it was about a mile but it actually was almost two. When we started out, the kids had a long conversation about how we should walk and bike more places to protect the environment. By the time we arrived, they were lamenting our lack of a car and asking if Daddy could come pick us up! And me without snacks or beverages... Several hours later, Scouter did come get us and there was much joy. Nonetheless, we had fun at the pool and made some new friends including a female triathlete from Northern Virginia who had seen the TriGirls in action at the Power Sprint and thought the group was awesome (which they are!).

Saturday we headed down to the farmer's market. Here's my bounty:

Good stuff! Taz chowed through the bread while Scouter particularly liked the blueberry pie. Rainbow most enjoyed a chocolate chip cookie which isn't pictured as she ate and shopped simultaneously.

Otherwise, we had a pretty lazy weekend. We were all exhausted. It was nice to relax, watch movies, and hang out.

Mommy of the Year

I tolerated the Wiggles. I even took my children to their concert at the Coliseum when they were toddlers.

I endured Barney.

I can even bear Spongebob and his annoying high pitched giggle.

But I absolutely positively cannot re-live Steve Erkle.

Did anyone else just shudder with horror?

June

Yes I realize that I missed blogging about most of the month of June.

Highlights included Taz's birthday, my birthday, the end of school for my kids, a very brutal month of school for me, a fun trip to the river with Jennifer and a crazy assortment of TriGirls, the first year of swim team for my kids and Mite Minder duties for me, and who knows what else.

Also we had a very fun July 4th weekend with Beanie and familia in the mountains.

I had good intentions of catching up.

Not going to happen.

This is as good as it gets.

Mommy of the Year

Earlier today, Rainbow made a case that her stomach is actually divided into thirds. One third is able to hold "real food," one third holds water and milk, and the third and final third is reserved exclusively for dessert.

She made a compelling argument.

She is only six and exhibited a good grasp of nutrition and fractions. I was impressed.

So I gave her a popsicle. And a cookie.

I lost my... ahem... bra in West Virginia

We just got home from Oglebay Park in Wheeling, West Virginia where we attended Scouter's family reunion.

Oglebay is beautiful. There are three 18 hole championship golf courses, a par 3, putt putt, swimming pools, paddle boats, riding stables, gardens, and I'm sure lots of other things that we didn't have time to experience.

There was also Scouter's immediate family sharing one very rustic cabin. Eleven adults, six kids. No dishwasher or garbage disposal. Very rudimentary cooking tools. No washer or dryer. Six bedrooms, three bathrooms. Scouter, Taz, Rainbow and I shared a room with two double beds.

One night, I dreamed that I was being attacked by a gang, thrown on the ground, and beaten. Then I woke up with Rainbow's finger in my eye and her foot on my jaw.

I'm soooo not exaggerating.

Cabin life was as fun as it sounds, with the added pleasure of a nine month old baby and his psycho schedule freak mom (Scouter's sister) who went crazy and yelled at anyone who dared breathe in the cabin after 7:30 p.m. when she put the baby to bed. She said we were the most inconsiderate people she had ever met. Then one of her other brothers loudly proclaimed that she was the biggest bitch he'd ever met.

Ironically, she is the only one who ever woke the baby - by slamming her bedroom door to make a point to the rest of us.

Plus a 14 month old with a fever.

Good times.

On the plus side, there were four more cabins filled with aunts, uncles and cousins who are (mostly) super cool. I first met Scouter's relatives 20 years ago when we started dating and it is great to see that all the cute little kids have grown into fun adults. His cousin Natalie was four when I met her - she was my favorite then and she is still my favorite today. Every time I see her (which is once every two years at most) we talk about how much we adored each other back then and still do today. We become more affectionate as we add more and more alcohol to the conversation. By the end of the night, we aren't pretty.

Scouter has a huge contingency of cousins from Illinois, Minnesota, and Indiana whom I've never really spent much time with - until this week. Others are from Tennesee and Georgia. They are so much fun! We made big plans for road trips that I feel fairly certain will never actually happen.

Last Sunday, we had a big cookout with all the relatives. There were literally over 100 of us in attendance. Okay I really don't know... but it sure seemed like 100 or more. We got there at 11 a.m. and left at 11 p.m. - lunch, a lunch re-heat that we called dinner, a cornholio tournament and many cocktails.

I have no recollection of Monday. I have vague memories of the driving range and the stables.

It took a lot of wine to get through the week.

Tuesday, the family had a golf tournament. Scouter, Taz, two of Scouter's brothers and one of our nephews were on a team. They were defending champions and came in second this year.

Mid-morning, I got a call from one of Scouter's brothers asking (begging even) me to come up and help the beer-cousin drive the refreshment cart. She was going solo and apparently the boredom factor was high. She said she was leaving when we got there but ended up hanging with us. So Rainbow had her first experience delivering beers from a golf cart. She got ice cream and soda; we had some cocktails. I was ready for bed at 4 p.m.!

Wednesday, Scouter's cousin Michael arranged a couples' golf scramble. I haven't golfed in about 10 years so I was a little nervous, but we were paired with a cousin who had never golfed. The guys carried the team! I used to think that the women's tees were a totally chauvinistic idea; now they can't give me enough of an advantage. We hit from the golds and actually used some of my drives. Now I have a huge golf bug and can't wait to play again!

Thursday, we played the Par 3 and I totally stunk up the joint. Apparently I need a tee for every shot. Interestingly, the par 3 course is under the ski lifts so as you may imagine the front 9 was pretty easy downhills while the back 9 was a tough upward climb. Then the kids and I went to one of the pools with a giant water slide in the afternoon - tons of fun. My calves burned from all the uphill climbing.

I should mention that I impressed the masses by running on Tuesday morning (maybe Monday? It's all so fuzzy...) GD it is hilly in West Virginia.

We left late Thursday night (~ 9:30 p.m.) and drove through the night to get home. It was great for the kids and me as we slept most of the time but it had to totally suck for poor Scouter. We got here just before 4 a.m. I tried to wake myself up enough to drive but just couldn't do it.

Oh - and I really did lose my bra. It's not a very interesting story - Rainbow and I went from the horse stables to meet Taz and lots of cousins at the pool. We changed in the bathroom, then I swear I rolled my bra up in my clothes with all of our stuff... but later I couldn't find it anywhere. We went back to the pool and retraced our steps to no avail. I had to wear a sports bra for the last two days, which Rainbow found hysterically funny. Every time we were in a crowd, she kept asking me loudly why I was wearing a sports bra instead of a regular bra.

Oh yes my friends. Good times.

Flat

Last August, when I was fitter than I am now (it's all relative), I raced the Luray Olympic. Or I should say, attempted to race. About two miles before the end of the bike, I had a flat tire and I had absolutely no idea what to do. I pulled my tools and my spare tube out of my bag then stood there helplessly until a guy stopped to help. He succeeded in pinching my spare tube, leaving me with two useless tubes, no intact tube, and no ability to help myself. I was near tears when the sag wagon stopped, provided a new tube, and changed my flat for me.

I swore that I would learn to change a flat tire on the off season so that never happened to me again.

Fast forward to last week...

Megan and I met on Wednesday at 6 a.m. to ride. I must admit that I was cranky about getting up that early and in fact I had a major sleep deficit and a wee bit of a red wine hangover. I pulled my bike off the rack and started pumping my front tire. I finished, pulled the pump off the tire, and heard the unmistakable sound of air escaping. At a rapid rate.

&^%$.

No, I had not learned to change a flat nor even thought about it much since last August.

Megan looked at my sympathetically and inquired if I wanted to bag the whole thing. In fact I did but hell, I was already awake and dressed so I may as well try. I told her we could see how it went. I must admit I wasn't at all hopeful.

I pulled out my tools and my spare and proceeded to cram the tools into the side of the tire to get it out. Success! And much surprise. Megan and I looked at each other and both thought, hey that wasn't so bad. She is not a tire changing master either, but between the two of us we figured out how to get the old tube out and the new tube in. Then came what I feared would be my downfall - getting the tire back on the rim. We worked the tools, hit a few rough spots but in general it went on pretty easily. We looked at each other in amazement. I feared that we had done something wrong and circled the parking lot, but all was well. My speedometer even worked. We headed out and with limited time, only rode 12 miles. But still.

Sometimes, I amaze myself.

I forgot the best part!

So TriGirl40 and I biked last Wednesday morning - great ride, amazing company, beautiful morning - and as we were nearing the end, this old guy on a bike popped out of a side street. He was stopped but when he saw us coming, he jumped on his bike and cut literally right in front of us. We looked at each other and rolled our eyes. A few seconds later, we zipped past him and I must admit, we chuckled to ourselves.

"What a jerk," TG40 thought.

"What a jackass," I said. (She's much nicer than me, you know.)

Well lo and behold, a few miles later, Old Guy passed us. I was annoyed. I pedaled with all my might but I have to admit that Old Guy kicked my ass on the hills. "I'd love to pass him," I called back to TG40.

She pulled up beside me with a mischievous grin. "Shall we?" she inquired.

"Do it!" I replied, knowing full well that she could take him and that I'd been holding her back for the entire ride.

The words were not even all the way out of my mouth before she had bridged half the distance between us and him. Mere moments later, she streaked past him like a blur. I chuckled to see his neck jerk around from my vantage point.

You go, girl!

Workout Week in Review

Turns out I've got at least one more of these in me after all - I have to post about last week not because there were stellar workouts or even good quantity, but for me it was an epic week. Check the workout start times in particular - astonishing. I am not a morning person.

With work, traveling for work, grad school, and my kids being out of school for the summer, I have had a really hard time fitting in any workouts. Quite literally, the week before this past week, I ran one time... and that was it. For the entire week. Pathetic, I know. As evidenced by the fact that my stomach is sticking out further than my boobs. Not that that takes much. But I digress...

Without further ado, here's my exercise report for last week.

Sunday: Nothing. I didn't say it was a great week.

Monday: I met Megan at 6 a.m. and we biked through Goochland - 18 miles, 17.5 mph average speed. That's lightening for me lately given my limited cycling. Once we got moving, I was really glad to be up that early, and of course it was great to catch up with Megan. We were pretty even last fall and she's smoking me now but I'm okay with that.

Tuesday: I met the Bean at 7 a.m. for a run. To be completely factual, I woke up at 7:01, raced downstairs to let the Bean know I was awake, raced back upstairs to throw on running clothes and swish some toothpaste through my mouth, then I met the Bean to run at about 7:05. We ran three miles together before she headed to a tennis match; I ran another two on my own. My average pace was something like 9:40 min/mile, negative split.

Wednesday: Flush with the success of my Monday ride, I committed to another 6 a.m. ride with TG40. Too late to back out now! We rode River Road from Patterson to Cary and back with a detour through a gorgeous neighborhood for a total of 21 miles, 17.0 average speed. I totally slowed TG40 down but she was her normal wonderful self and let me draft and hang on for dear life. Again, I was glad I pried my fat ass out of bed to do it.

Thursday: Beanie and I met for a 7 a.m. run, but this time she overslept. We got going about 7:15 and ran four miles in muggy weather. We were slow - about 11 min/mile, but we were chatting the whole time and that raises our heart rate, right?

Friday: Nothing. I didn't even pretend to myself that I would attempt anything.

Saturday: I had an early class for school but I set my alarm for 5:45 to get in a few miles beforehand. My alarm went off but the volume was set so low that I didn't hear it for 20 minutes, at which point I didn't have time to run. Do I get points for effort? My waistline says no.

I'm exhausted since in addition to these early morning workouts, I was up late every night working on two group projects, one individual project, and six papers. My speed-semester of grad school is over and I have the month of July blessedly off. I'm hoping to get myself on a more consistent schedule and fit some weight training in (my favorite).

Perhaps I will have more to write about next week...

But don't count on it.