So the other day I unwrapped a bar of soap to put by my sink and it had "SMILE NOW" written on it. Cute, I thought. I'm pretty sure I even smiled.
Today, however, I saw the pithy little thing demanding that I "SMILE NOW" and failed to see the charm.
"FUCK YOU" I replied.
Out loud.
To a bar of soap.
.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Mommy of the Year
Here's a little Magic 8 Ball fun, House 'o TriDi style:
Taz and Rainbow: Will Mommy be cranky this weekend?
Magic 8 Ball: I sense yes.
Taz and Rainbow: Will Daddy yell this weekend?
Magic 8 Ball: Definitely
Taz and Rainbow: Will we behave this weekend?
Magic 8 Ball: Nope
I cocked an eyebrow and inquired whether they thought perhaps those three questions were inter-related.
They gave me their most innocent and angelic looks - and even managed to hold them for a few seconds before we all burst out laughing.
.
Taz and Rainbow: Will Mommy be cranky this weekend?
Magic 8 Ball: I sense yes.
Taz and Rainbow: Will Daddy yell this weekend?
Magic 8 Ball: Definitely
Taz and Rainbow: Will we behave this weekend?
Magic 8 Ball: Nope
I cocked an eyebrow and inquired whether they thought perhaps those three questions were inter-related.
They gave me their most innocent and angelic looks - and even managed to hold them for a few seconds before we all burst out laughing.
.
Ouuuuuccccchhhhhhh
Damn that run hurt.
I knew it would. We are in the mountains this weekend so my only option is a hilly route. Dread of it helped me procrastinate all day yesterday.
Finally, I couldn't put it off any longer. Well, I could, but then I would likely go two weeks between runs. There's just no excuse for that.
Yes friends, my training plan for the 14k thus far has been to run 4 miles once a week. Yep. My plan will be rivaling Furman any day now.
So anyway. The route I had to run today starts with a 0.75 mile gradual uphill climb. I usually walk up the steep hill at the very beginning and call it a warm up. Today, I was out of breathe after even that part. Not a promising start.
I passed a man and his son walking their bikes up the hill. About then, I started negotiating with myself. What if I ran 3 miles instead of 4? It is a tough route after all. After a few minutes of debate with myself, I finally settled on running the four mile route but if I absolutely had to, I could walk up the hill at mile 3.
That convinced part of me to make the turn towards the four mile route, looking forward to the walk. The other part of me was still hoping to convince all of me to run it.
Didn't happen. Honestly, I was pretending a light post was an aid station and if I could just run there, I could walk the rest of the way up the hill.
Usually the 0.75 downhill at the end convinces me that running doesn't totally suck. That didn't even work today.
.
I knew it would. We are in the mountains this weekend so my only option is a hilly route. Dread of it helped me procrastinate all day yesterday.
Finally, I couldn't put it off any longer. Well, I could, but then I would likely go two weeks between runs. There's just no excuse for that.
Yes friends, my training plan for the 14k thus far has been to run 4 miles once a week. Yep. My plan will be rivaling Furman any day now.
So anyway. The route I had to run today starts with a 0.75 mile gradual uphill climb. I usually walk up the steep hill at the very beginning and call it a warm up. Today, I was out of breathe after even that part. Not a promising start.
I passed a man and his son walking their bikes up the hill. About then, I started negotiating with myself. What if I ran 3 miles instead of 4? It is a tough route after all. After a few minutes of debate with myself, I finally settled on running the four mile route but if I absolutely had to, I could walk up the hill at mile 3.
That convinced part of me to make the turn towards the four mile route, looking forward to the walk. The other part of me was still hoping to convince all of me to run it.
Didn't happen. Honestly, I was pretending a light post was an aid station and if I could just run there, I could walk the rest of the way up the hill.
Usually the 0.75 downhill at the end convinces me that running doesn't totally suck. That didn't even work today.
.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Meaningful Events
One final post from me tonight - I've either been saving up or I'm unusually chatty!
As I posted recently, I'm planning to come out of retirement and race again in 2010. Two events in particular are very meaningful to me, and I'd love to have you - my two blog readers - do them with me. Seriously, please think about them.
The first is the Virginia is for Lovers 14k in Virginia Beach on Feb. 13. I've already assembled an all-star cast including Annn, TG40, my awesome brother-in-law Mark (who recently won his age group in a sprint tri in NoVa), Patty, Susan, and maybe even the Bean depending upon her recovery from a calf injury. It will be a blast and it is for great causes, one of which - Team Kainer - is close to the heart for my family, especially Mark.
The second is the MS150 two-day cycling event in central Virginia. It's on May 22 & 23 this year, and there are shorter and longer options for those so inclined. I've talked casually to a few people about doing this ride and am hoping to rally a good team. I'll warn you in advance - this will be a fundraiser (but I promise no pressure). My mother-in-law has MS and I am riding in her honor.
Please think about these events and let me know if you're interested. I think they will be a blast if we do them together.
Peace out.
.
As I posted recently, I'm planning to come out of retirement and race again in 2010. Two events in particular are very meaningful to me, and I'd love to have you - my two blog readers - do them with me. Seriously, please think about them.
The first is the Virginia is for Lovers 14k in Virginia Beach on Feb. 13. I've already assembled an all-star cast including Annn, TG40, my awesome brother-in-law Mark (who recently won his age group in a sprint tri in NoVa), Patty, Susan, and maybe even the Bean depending upon her recovery from a calf injury. It will be a blast and it is for great causes, one of which - Team Kainer - is close to the heart for my family, especially Mark.
The second is the MS150 two-day cycling event in central Virginia. It's on May 22 & 23 this year, and there are shorter and longer options for those so inclined. I've talked casually to a few people about doing this ride and am hoping to rally a good team. I'll warn you in advance - this will be a fundraiser (but I promise no pressure). My mother-in-law has MS and I am riding in her honor.
Please think about these events and let me know if you're interested. I think they will be a blast if we do them together.
Peace out.
.
Congrats TriGirls!
Congrats to all the TriGirls (and TriBoys) who completed IronMan Florida yesterday, especially my girl Jackie. You are amazing!
Can I return to adulthood now?
I think my backwards spiral into revisiting adolescence is complete.
Twilight fanatic? Check. Harry Potter obsession? Check. Lightening Thief? Check again.
Zits? Check. And let me tell you, they are particularly unattractive in combination with wrinkles.
Crazy friend who gives me the silent treatment for four months over something silly? Check.
And now - hanging at the mall all day? Check. Yesterday, Rainbow and I hit the mall in the morning to buy end-of-season gifts for her soccer coach. Theatre IV was having auditions so we hung out for awhile listening. Then we returned to the food court for her post-game celebration, after which we listened to auditions some more, she played in the play area, and we even did a little shopping. We were there for hours. The average age of everyone else there had to be 13.
Very weird.
Menopause? Bring it. I'm ready.
.
Twilight fanatic? Check. Harry Potter obsession? Check. Lightening Thief? Check again.
Zits? Check. And let me tell you, they are particularly unattractive in combination with wrinkles.
Crazy friend who gives me the silent treatment for four months over something silly? Check.
And now - hanging at the mall all day? Check. Yesterday, Rainbow and I hit the mall in the morning to buy end-of-season gifts for her soccer coach. Theatre IV was having auditions so we hung out for awhile listening. Then we returned to the food court for her post-game celebration, after which we listened to auditions some more, she played in the play area, and we even did a little shopping. We were there for hours. The average age of everyone else there had to be 13.
Very weird.
Menopause? Bring it. I'm ready.
.
Dusted
Twice this year I've been really badly spanked.
The first time was on Good Friday when I rode with a big group. People I normally could hang with (at least a year before) completely dropped me at the end. Annn. Jennifer. Everyone else on that ride.
The second time was today.
I wanted to try a new 32 mile route that Fave sent me. Dave suggested we leave from my house, making the route roughly 50 miles. I haven't ridden farther than 40 in, oh I don't know, two years! but I said what the hell anyway. We started strong, helped along by a downhill start. And the first 27ish miles were good - a little hilly but tolerable.
The next six miles were torture - long gradual uphills, a couple steep uphills, and somehow very little counterbalancing downhills. I'm not really sure how that works. After the first climb on this section, my legs were toast. Dave was a distant speck ahead of me. He waited for me and tried to pull me but it was impossible for him to go as slowly as I was going without risking a complete stop, rolling backwards, or falling over.
When we hit a rest point at 36 miles, I realized that we had another 16 to go to finish the entire route for a total of 52 miles. Somehow that extra unanticipated two miles really did me in. I lobbied hard for a change of plans that gave us about another six miles instead. I know Dave was not excited about riding on Broad Street (hey, at least it wasn't 288) but he did. I guess it was the lesser of two evils compared to the option of dragging my boat-anchor self another 16.
We finished with almost 42 miles at 16.9 mph by my bike computer. It was everything I had today.
I guess I'd better drag out my trainer so I don't have a three-peat.
.
The first time was on Good Friday when I rode with a big group. People I normally could hang with (at least a year before) completely dropped me at the end. Annn. Jennifer. Everyone else on that ride.
The second time was today.
I wanted to try a new 32 mile route that Fave sent me. Dave suggested we leave from my house, making the route roughly 50 miles. I haven't ridden farther than 40 in, oh I don't know, two years! but I said what the hell anyway. We started strong, helped along by a downhill start. And the first 27ish miles were good - a little hilly but tolerable.
The next six miles were torture - long gradual uphills, a couple steep uphills, and somehow very little counterbalancing downhills. I'm not really sure how that works. After the first climb on this section, my legs were toast. Dave was a distant speck ahead of me. He waited for me and tried to pull me but it was impossible for him to go as slowly as I was going without risking a complete stop, rolling backwards, or falling over.
When we hit a rest point at 36 miles, I realized that we had another 16 to go to finish the entire route for a total of 52 miles. Somehow that extra unanticipated two miles really did me in. I lobbied hard for a change of plans that gave us about another six miles instead. I know Dave was not excited about riding on Broad Street (hey, at least it wasn't 288) but he did. I guess it was the lesser of two evils compared to the option of dragging my boat-anchor self another 16.
We finished with almost 42 miles at 16.9 mph by my bike computer. It was everything I had today.
I guess I'd better drag out my trainer so I don't have a three-peat.
.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Mommy of the Year
Rainbow's favorite game right now is "Would you rather?" and like a dumbass I bought her a book of them.
She just asked me, "Would you rather be able to hear only women talk or slowly turn into a salmon after age 60?"
She picked the salmon.
However, I picked only hearing women talk.
As soon as I justified my choice by saying I'd never have to hear Daddy and Taz argue again, she immediately changed her answer.
Another question was something like, "Would you rather eat chocolate every day of your life or be able to switch faces with anyone?"
She picked switching faces and I asked why. "So I could switch faces with you!" she exclaimed.
I told her she can just wait 35 years and that particular selection will come true.
She leaned forward and stared at me intently for several minutes. And then she settled back into her chair, slowly shook her head - and changed her answer.
.
She just asked me, "Would you rather be able to hear only women talk or slowly turn into a salmon after age 60?"
She picked the salmon.
However, I picked only hearing women talk.
As soon as I justified my choice by saying I'd never have to hear Daddy and Taz argue again, she immediately changed her answer.
Another question was something like, "Would you rather eat chocolate every day of your life or be able to switch faces with anyone?"
She picked switching faces and I asked why. "So I could switch faces with you!" she exclaimed.
I told her she can just wait 35 years and that particular selection will come true.
She leaned forward and stared at me intently for several minutes. And then she settled back into her chair, slowly shook her head - and changed her answer.
.
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